moreneuroticramblings

too true.

2006-10-29T05:35:00.000-08:00

You Are 84% Control Freak

You are a total control freak, yet you often feel out of control.If your life isn't "perfect" - it really gets you down.... more than it should!

Are You A Control Freak?

2006-10-27T00:32:00.000-07:00

Got caught in the rain on the way home from Thomson Plaza today.It was the perfect way to end the week. I LOVE walking in the rain, and haven't been able to do it for ages.Mainly because I'm stuck behind a desk all day. Despite all the running around I've had to do this week, I feel so refreshed!

We did our photshoot yesterday, and had a complete blast! Thank God for Daniel who followed us everywhere and took so many great shots purely on the steam of one muffin:) Was expecting it to be hot and dirty and it was , but we still had loads of fun, even sitting on the ground and standing in my pretty dress in a puddle.

I think I made a smart (complete fluke) choice picking X. I know most people thought I was insane and fixated, but my heart really flip flopped when I saw him ( Arts Canteen, no less). And I thank God he had the good sense to like me back. I think we'll have fun being married.

I'm really feeling...anticipatory.
to realize beforehand; foretaste or foresee.

2006-08-25T18:36:00.000-07:00

3 months to being Mrs. X! And we've accumulated the grand total of one bed. Hopefully we find more furniture soon. And in the middle of this, 3 more weddings this month. I'm all wedding-ed out. Quite laughable that at the start of the year, we were the only ones getting married,and we've seen about 7 couples sprinting down the aisle ahead of us already:D
I'm going to enjoy my weekend, even the working over Sunday bit. Should be fun turning a rubbish project into something readable and actionable. Challenge is always fun. Bring it on! Ok, now I just sound blonde. WIll stop before it gets worse. Will blonde people be offended by this? Do blonde people read my blog? So many questions, so little time.

2006-07-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

I'm back from Madras. (I refuse to call it Chennai. Think its ridiculous to name a place and then rename it. Especially as Madras sounds quite bloody ethnic indian to me. And I should know.)
The best part of the trip was really spending time with my mother. Suprisingly, it was actually quite fun hanging out with her, and listening ( not just hearing) her opinions and reminiscing about her own wedding. I've never really thought of my mother as a person in her own right. I've just seen her as the Doler Out of Medication, Washer of all Dishes, Person who come up with funny jokes, and who makes me all-round secure.Basically she's been The Mother. And now I've gotten a peek at the person. Funnily enough, we actually have the same expressions and same posture and same way of talking.Was quite unnerving to notice that bit of it.
Of course the second best part of the trip was the shopping. Can't beat the feeling of trying on silky saris and diamond jewellery and picking out anything and everything you like. Hey. I'm the bride. And I'm milking it.

2006-07-03T04:11:00.000-07:00

Very excited. Was just reading Ephesians 2. Its a book I've just skimmed over before.( like Deutoronomy). But just counting the promises in that one chapter is fantastic! I can't believe I'm using exclamation marks. But yes. Its exciting. And encouraging.

So I haven't quit my job. Yet. ( be quiet Vicky). They made me an offer I can't refuse basically. But I'm thankful that I have bosses that actually care and are not too far removed from the grunt work that can be my job.

5months5months5months5months5months. Notenoughtime!!!!

2006-06-18T06:52:00.000-07:00

Things I did this weekend...
1.Cut my hair as short as my hairdresser would let me. Why does my hairdresser run my life?
2.Got my nails painted PINK for the first time.
3.Typed my resignation letter.

2006-06-08T08:28:00.000-07:00

Guess what I did tonight? A whole 3 loads of laundry!YESSS!! In my little workhomework world, this counts as a major achievement. Actually its a major achievement that I made it home before 930. The laundry is just extra.
I have a ridiculous 4 weddings to attend this month. Am absolutely blowing two of them off. I cannot muster up the energy for 4 of these things. That sounds cold coming from someone who's planning her own wedding. But trust me, if you're tired and want to sleep in, or have to work, or just can't be arsed to slap on your happy face for my own wedding, I will completely understand.Wait. No. I won't. Dammit. Now I have 4 weddings to attend.

2006-05-13T09:25:00.000-07:00

Had a minor scare last week. Found myself getting teary eyed over a colleague's new baby. he was highly cute and all. But still. Teary.Wondered if it was my biological clock going into overdrive.Which would be very very bad. As am very very broke. Most about-to-be-married people are. And this debt-ridden state looks set to carry on into the next few years as we accumulate dull things like fridge, fans, tables, chairs etc. Its so unfair that such boring mundane things COST SO MUCH. Its ridiculous! For the price of a fridge I could buy a Fendi Spy Bag! Or a whole shoe collection ( ok, well the start of a shoe collection). My bitter resentment at forking out cash for Mistubishi rather than Manolos is not sitting well with my mother, who has started the Domesticate Judith campaign. In the main, this entails her sitting in the hall ( to waylay me), cutting out hundreds of little newspaper ads on sales for kettles/irons/tables and more mundane things. She waves the clippings at me and calls out the prices of things as I scuttle past desperately trying to avoid her. But she's nothing if not determined, my mother. Looking at the way things are headed, my next few weekends will be spent staring at silver sinks.

2006-05-06T03:58:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, we now have tiles. Yes. Tiles. After an entire afternoon of looking at polished/matte/textured/coloured tiles, and lugging them in and out of the shop to check the colours under natural light ( mother's orders), we finally bought some. Utterly exhausted. And all I can tell you is that they are brown. And some are stripey. The end.

2006-05-05T09:51:00.000-07:00

This morning was peppered with great and amazing screw ups at work. Just when you think morons can't get any dumber. Externalising my emotions ( swearing like a sailor) didn't quite do it, so went for a long stroll. Well, it was either that or do the Walk of The White Envelope. Walked from Work to City Hall and then back. Oddly, bumped into quite a few people clearly out and about on interviews. Recognised the slicked back hair, matte powdered face and the slightly glazed look on their faces. Felt a slight ( just slight I said) twinge of relief that it wasn't me. Remember my own horrid year of searching, and wonder if I can bring myself to do that again.We'll see.

2006-05-03T02:44:00.000-07:00

Wedding Myth #2: Brides lose weight due to conscientious dieting to look good on their wedding day. This too is crap. We lose weight from the sheer stress of juggling home/work/wedding plans/making nice with everybody, so a full-on brawl doesn't break out.

Good wedding presents:
Good Morning Towels(Lots).
Cute 60s Tea cups and saucers like from Ya Kun Kaya
A coffee maker. Preferably red lacquered.
A Princess juicer.Preferably red lacquered.
A steamer(For clothes NOT rice)
Wine glasses
Money. Just lots of money.

Bad wedding presents:
Towels from Robinsons. Seriously. We can get our own towels.
Clocks.No one needs to know the time that badly.
Phones.Just.No.Phones.
Rice Cooker

Now you know.

2006-05-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

Wedding Myth #1:Brides-to-be glow due to the anticipation of impending nuptials. This is crap.The glow is the effect of a thousand dollars worth of facials(literally) .More myths to be BUSTED soon.

2006-04-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

Spent the first half of the day at work. After much teeth gnashing and typing emails ;nasty ( to idiot clients) and pleading ( to overworked suppliers), I gave in to the pull of the credit card and went shopping at Bugis.
Let me tell you what the problem is with Icon. Firstly, unless you have pope-like patience, you'll have to essentially walk 5 flights of stairs to shop. Second, after the 3rd floor, everything pretty much looks the same, and oddly enough gets more expensive the higher up you go. Finally and most importantly, lots of places don't take credit cards. Which is just nuts. Because a) No one is going to go out of their way to shop there with ready money. b) you really close yourself off to impulse purchases by not taking credit cards. Sadly gave up hope on the pretty Easter Egg striped cotton dress, looked vaguely pregnant in it. But managed to get my hands on some other cute things that will not break the bank.Also, had odd conversation with Shop Auntie.
Shop Auntie: You so pretty har.
Me:haha. thanks Auntie ( tugging plastic bag out of SA's hands)
Shop Auntie: No, really.Sometimes your kind not so pretty (still holding bag very tight)
Me:Er..haha.Ok.
Shop Auntie: Don't get offended ok?But you are very pretty. (refusing to let damn bag go.)
Me:Haha.ok, thanks Auntie. ( wrenching bag free and running for dear life)

2006-04-14T06:46:00.000-07:00

I was so so determined to get to church on time today. Mainly because I am chronically late for everything.Will probably miss the Second Coming at the rate I'm going. I woke at 9am to be absolutelycompletely100percentveryvery sure I'll be in church for the 2pm service. I got to church an unheard of 30minutes early. I shuffled off to the coffeeshop opposite for a victory teh tarik, all the while mentally composing how I would tote out this little nugget to Mr. X. 'Oh me? I was here a little early.Like 30 FRIGGIN MINUTES EARLY.Can you beat that? Huh? Can you?Can you?". Of course once I was actually at the coffeeshop it started to rain. Of the full on blasting in your face variety. Which means that instead of sitting warmly(smugly) in the sanctuary, I was staring morosely at the back entrance of the church for the better part of an hour.

2006-04-03T20:07:00.000-07:00

I want to be...
home planning itinery for Phuket.
in town buying last minute swim things for trip ( I am sure my grandmother has hidden my swim suit to try and make me decent.Which is of course not going to happen.)
at Peninsula Plaza getting my unibrow fixed so I don't scare little Thai children in the streets
at home finishing The curious incident of the Dog in the Night time which is hilarious. I pretty much giggle madly all the way to work on the 980. This is good. People don't sit next to me, and I can read in peace.
BUT I'M AT WORK!Although my mind is in Phuket.

2006-03-24T03:38:00.000-08:00

Things are decidely looking up. Not because the situations have improved. This week has been the longest ever. And things reached catastrophic proportions at work. But I've had the strength and the presence of mind to get through it calmly. I feel sustained, thank God. honestly, the worse things have gotten this week, the more I felt lifted up and buoyed.Which definitely goes against my nature and logic. Whatever it is, I like.

In other news, I have decided to go for a facial next week. Hard to believe, but I'm an absolute facial virgin. Quite freaked out by the idea of letting someone touch my face. Asked the poor beautician a lot of alarming questions. 'So. Will I break out? Will I suddenly get a lot of pimples? I really don't like that you know. Will my face be red and splotchy?Do you think I'll have reaction to the treatment? I don't know my skin that well you know? So how?" Poor lady. Will update on how it goes. Unless it goes badly. In which case I'll be under a rock somwhere.

2006-03-19T02:56:00.000-08:00

So in today's attempt to do it all, I went in to work to get some work in before church at 9 and to print out/organize reno stuff.And 15 minutes before I needed to head to church, I jammed the printer with the reno quote.Really and truly jammed. I had to laugh. In my brilliant try to do six million things at one go, I basically screwed myself over. X kindly came up and helped extricate the paper after service.Then we trudged home and I had a nap (supposed to be working), while X played soccer.I'm a geriatric. A panicking geriatric. I have a presentation tomorrow, and haven't started a thing yet.

2006-03-12T08:59:00.000-08:00

'See I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone,and the one who trusts in Him will never be put to shame'. 1 Peter 1:6.
This is the promise I have been holding to the past few months. And what I will hold Him to in the months to come as well. I'm so tired from house.wedding.work. and the many tiny little issues that I'm having to deal with for the first time. Is there a getting married manual I didn't get? But God has been amazing. And sustaining. And infinitely gracious. With every brick wall I've come up against, I've been way too tired to even think of solutions, but somehow, everything works itself out. I've even found the time to start serving again. Not easy, but I'm going to do it. I deserve some fun:D
I'm so sleep y now. so night.

2006-02-15T08:32:00.000-08:00

I finally threw in the towel. And took a day's leave. If you know how anal I am about work, you will appreciate the significance of this. My bad mood has been rapidly snowballing since Monday when I missed my mum's birthday dinner.For.You guessed it.Work. So I smiled very sweetly at the boss today, and said 'I'm on leave tomorrow ok?', picked up my bag and hightailed it out of there.
Beat Lil to Orchard MRT, for shopping and sushi. Today's shopping expedition went much better than yesterday. Possibly due to the lack of couples canoodling in the middle of Mango, or fewer bunches of paltry cellophane wrapped roses.I found staple balloony skirt at Mango, and staple black peep toe heels and staple black and red tees. I find shopping guilt free when you tack on the staple label. Everybody needs staples. Right?Right.

2006-02-12T04:35:00.000-08:00

Things I have learnt in 2005:
I do not have a burning passion for market research.
I do not have a burning passion for anything.
I am fairly good at anything I put my mind to. Even reading graphs and charts that I would have avoided like the plague before.
People who are smart can be made to feel incredibly inept and stupid.
Powerpoint is not everything.
Neither is a corporate career.
I would gladly trade in suits and my salary for a month of sleep. Or a burning passion.

I do not believe in the Quarterlife crisis. Wanting to make sense of your life and take stock of where you are headed and why, is absolutely normal. Its not a phenomenon. Its common sense. I've decided to drop my job next year. This is not what I want to do, and since I'm already in my mid twenties, I better stop faffing about, and figure out what I want to do. Even if its just staying barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen ( just kidding..)

In the meantime, everything is falling into place beautifully for the wedding. We've found photographers that we like, and one of them comes complete with two labs (dogs) and hot pink havaiianas. Next step will be tracking down contractors for the flat. I will rest easy when the white and peach tiles are hacked.hacked.hacked.out!

2005-11-20T05:38:00.000-08:00

It looks like we won't have to pitch a tent in my parent's garden after all. after months of peering at grotty/too expensive/too small/too big/too low low floored flats, we found one that we liked. While it will seem rather nondescript to anyone else, it felt like home to me as soon as I stepped in. For the past few months, I've been working out a mental trade off in my mind. I'll swap a high floor for lots of natural sunlight, or a bigger kitchen for a corner unit. And in spite of all these presumptuous attempts to get my own flat my own way, He has provided in the most amazing way possible, giving me everything I ever wanted, and dropping it in my lap as the most sumptuous early Christmas present ever.

2005-11-17T06:57:00.000-08:00

Still thinking about mothers.

I grew up making a mental list of all the things my mother did wrong, and that I was thankfully never going to do, because god knows, I had my list. But this week ( literally), I realised that I am thankful to my mother. Thankful for all the loving and caring that never ceased, never faded and was always given freely and truly. My mother wasn't a saint, but she loved me, in spite of her shortcomings and mine, and for that I will always be grateful. So here's another list for mummy.
I am grateful that she, still kisses me good morning ( even when I bat her away), still hugs me when she feels like it, makes me scrambled eggs at midnight, wakes up early so I can shower later, prays me through my day, has an amazing closet I can raid, had me in spite of 2 doctors telling her to have me terminated, sat with me through the worst nights of cramps and back aches, took me shopping after tiring days at work, brought me char kway teow in hostel just because, tells me home truths, wisecracks, and how much she loves me. I love her too.

I hope I do half as good a job when I have mine. Is this a hallmark of growing up?

2005-11-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

all the crazy fragmented thoughts i've had, from font size to fabric are slowly piecing themselves together. So maybe. Just maybe. A wedding will happen after all:)

I've also totally and quite completely fallen in love with adidas and puma. This was inevitable, given the silver and black le coq sportifs lurking at the bottom of my shoe closet.Ok.shoe shelf.
But I have it bad now. I dreamt about the black adidas wrap cardi last night. I know where I'm spending Sunday afternoon. But for now will be satisfied with the chilli red puff sleeved tee.

2005-10-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

Stuck between a rock and a hard place. When I first joined MNC, i did it on a pure whim.Vick will be horriefied to know. Pretty much spurred on by the idea of wearing jeans anyday everyday. Like I said, I'm easy to please. Now, I'm stressed out of my mind. The work is fun enough. But the deadlines are insane. Which goes with the territory, so i can't complain. What does make me stop dead on my feet. Is the fact that I need to figure out how to smile and nod at clients, deliver stellar work, and cook, clean and generally be a wifey as well. Women that I've spoken to , are broadly divided into two camps on the work/relationship balance. Half of them (all married) stare in bewilderment that i even want to try taking care of home/husband. The other half are barely breathing and and trying just to keep their heads above the paperwork.
I feel pretty cornered. There are obstacles at every turn for women. All the things we are supposed to embrace and enjoy like homemaking, seem set on stunting us career-wise. sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that you just can't have it all.

2005-10-11T06:51:00.000-07:00

In a perfect world my new fringe-that-is-not-a-fringe would lie straight silkily flat helped by paddle brushes with natural bristles and a new fangled hairdryer that has 85 detachable heads. And I would be happy.But it does not.And I am not.

In slightly better news, I went to try on my new blush pink, chilli red and black printed tube dress with the scalloped edges. Amazingly, it is slightly big. This is good news. Possibly will look less sausage like on Saturday. Not that I'm vain or anything. Wonder what colour to do my nails.

In other more odd news, I just found that my mother's favourite song of the moment is Green Day's Wake Me up When September Ends. She is also partial to Ashley Simpson's Boyfriend. My inexplicable urge to walk down the aisle to Stacey's Mom is explained. Joel be warned. The pipes the pipes are calling...

2005-10-07T21:26:00.000-07:00

My friends are very good liars. Very proud-making and vaguely unsettling. Mr X ( aka MR. I-Don't -Believe-in-Plans), did up a fantastic surprise birthday dinner for me. Had such a great time, good food, better company. I'm very easy to please. Spent most of the time beaming like an idiot while furiously wondering how I'm going to top this for the X's birthday!

And ok, its not just a big white dress. I went to this pretty wedding boutique (read: hole-in-the-wall), and fell.in.love. And I didn't look as large a sausage as anticipated. Huge cream coloured frothy skirts, sparkly beaded bodices...like turning into a Barbie doll!! ( minus the legs and boobs clearly). So so fun. and there's flowers! And a veil! And littlle matching flowergirls!I can't wait. I feel mild twinges of bridezillaness appearing. very string possibility I will demand bridesmaids dye hair to match underwear to match gown. And a tiara. Definitely need a tiara.

The past week has felt like one extended party. We headed to Gold Dust last night for Yvonne's hen night, which was tamer than our initial 'Where to get a stripper ah??' plans.. Let me tell you. If Kumar says you're pretty. You're pretty. While getting in is fairly traumatic ( Waiting for friend outside Orchard Towers will get you mistaken for a hooker, and the Indian security guard hits on anything that moves), Kumar is hilarious and worth the dodgy surroundings. Definitely heading back.

K.Going to eat my chicken riiiiice!

2005-09-18T06:52:00.000-07:00

I did it again. I fell for the Buy-this-magazine-and-we'll-show-you-how-to-throw-your-wedding-for-under-ten-dollars trick.
The cover page was filled with lines like 'free', 'cheaper' and 'budget'. But inside. Oh grief. The same pictures of the standard six bustier chiffon gowns in varying shades of white, making the circuit at every Singaporean wedding. There was even a photo shoot, in what i can only imagine is a red light district. I'm not kidding. there were four women, in different coloured gowns, leaning meaninfully against pillars outside shophouses, at night. With red lanterns as the only lighting. What else am i supposed to think!?

This was topped off with an 'inside look' at the 'best' local wedding photographers. Very liberal with praise, this magazine. The first picture of a wedding couple ( background) and a large piece of driftwood (foreground) didn't really inspire great confidence frankly. I would very possibly be better off handing a disposable camera to a drunk uncle.

And in the final pages ( yes, I read the whole thing, because i paid for it.), there was a shot of possible honeymoon luggage options ( all Louis Vuitton), finished off with a twopager on holidays under $1000. Hello? Pick a target audience. ANY target audience. But pick one.

On another vaguely wedding-related note, did anybody catch the Britney Spears shoot in Vogue? She still looks a kid in dress up. Poor thing.

2005-09-15T22:20:00.000-07:00

I have reverted to making lists

Things on my mind...

A romantic non-reavling wedding gown..something like Imitation of Christ's latest look? Maybe.
No bustier wedding cake gown
Noweddingdinner.noweddingdinner.NOWEDDINGBLOODYDINNER.
Tattoo NO WEDDING DINNER on forehead
Find a place that sells Nixon watches
Find more time to laze on the beach with X.
Figure out the 'Easy' step and the 'Basic' step, so I do not die at next aerobics class

2005-04-03T18:30:00.000-07:00

testing.....

more*neurotic*ramblings

too true.

moreneuroticramblings